the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.