I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize