Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?

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  (416): I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL? http://tfl.nu/iaot
  Replies (17) Good night (1772) Bad night (2699)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.

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  (617): She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her. http://tfl.nu/25nb
  Replies (123) Good night (1192) Bad night (4672)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.

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  (270): The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home. http://tfl.nu/2p12
  Replies (59) Good night (3937) Bad night (1241)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

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  (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/v9ss
  Replies (131) Good night (62235) Bad night (2415)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it

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  (503): I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it http://tfl.nu/jqdj
  Replies (12) Good night (1379) Bad night (4897)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?

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  (502): Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels? http://tfl.nu/vpae
  Replies (12) Good night (1262) Bad night (3983)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.

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  (303): you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug. http://tfl.nu/8hzl
  Replies (5) Good night (3068) Bad night (1125)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them

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  (407): Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them http://tfl.nu/nkku
  Replies (7) Good night (918) Bad night (1798)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.

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  (413): I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR. http://tfl.nu/5elj
  Replies (16) Good night (2999) Bad night (835)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.

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  (978): I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk. http://tfl.nu/so98
  Replies (13) Good night (1770) Bad night (566)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.

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  (970): Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard. http://tfl.nu/a8iw
  Replies (1) Good night (918) Bad night (405)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?

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  (917): Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now? http://tfl.nu/50ap
  Replies (2) Good night (1256) Bad night (378)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.

  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?

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  (+44): Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls. (+41): What a patriot you are. How'd it happen? http://tfl.nu/t9je
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (283)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.

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  (713): walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain. http://tfl.nu/bj1a
  Replies (3) Good night (710) Bad night (342)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here

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  (914): Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here http://tfl.nu/yns8
  Replies (4) Good night (382) Bad night (636)

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