Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.