Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  People with herpes should wear stickers.

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  (281): People with herpes should wear stickers. http://tfl.nu/8ji1
  Replies (50) Good night (940) Bad night (3591)
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  (559): View more from California

  Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE

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  (559): Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE http://tfl.nu/d6tf
  Replies (48) Good night (8386) Bad night (895)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.

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  (239): yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day. http://tfl.nu/xjz6
  Replies (13) Good night (4766) Bad night (594)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.

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  (623): I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit. http://tfl.nu/pl0y
  Replies (15) Good night (5103) Bad night (658)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.

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  (508): the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful. http://tfl.nu/u6l8
  Replies (14) Good night (793) Bad night (5820)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.

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  (806): Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever. http://tfl.nu/07ur
  Replies (9) Good night (4313) Bad night (957)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before

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  (717): Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before http://tfl.nu/lay4
  Replies (6) Good night (2590) Bad night (845)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.

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  (780): Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks. http://tfl.nu/2lc5
  Replies (11) Good night (6601) Bad night (1101)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you

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  (484): come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you http://tfl.nu/95xm
  Replies (4) Good night (1686) Bad night (592)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.

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  (757): It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog. http://tfl.nu/clzo
  Replies (3) Good night (1664) Bad night (558)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.

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  (801): If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke. http://tfl.nu/6dxv
  Replies (7) Good night (1664) Bad night (592)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him

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  (419): I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him http://tfl.nu/czew
  Replies (5) Good night (1547) Bad night (522)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA

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  (240): HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA http://tfl.nu/oasy
  Replies (2) Good night (377) Bad night (541)
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  (347): View more from New York

  My day in three words: secret purse cake

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  (347): My day in three words: secret purse cake http://tfl.nu/hy52
  Replies (4) Good night (636) Bad night (250)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works

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  (816): At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works http://tfl.nu/txc2
  Replies (3) Good night (395) Bad night (144)

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