I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
...so i touched it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER