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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.

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• (221): View more from

  I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.

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• (760): View more from California

  so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?

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• (315): View more from New York

  My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.

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• (619): View more from California

  Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG

  (972): View more from Texas

  BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.

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