i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.