Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.

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  (419): I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief. http://tfl.nu/du8g
  Replies (17) Good night (955) Bad night (3334)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.

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  (214): He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating. http://tfl.nu/pak1
  Replies (5) Good night (493) Bad night (3309)
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  (619): View more from California

  I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.

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  (619): I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there. http://tfl.nu/ar9u
  Replies (9) Good night (913) Bad night (2922)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm

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  (954): I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm http://tfl.nu/muws
  Replies (8) Good night (3816) Bad night (1142)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left

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  (330): I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left http://tfl.nu/kqqk
  Replies (26) Good night (5161) Bad night (1705)
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  (607): View more from New York

  do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?

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  (607): do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers? http://tfl.nu/jybn
  Replies (10) Good night (1877) Bad night (849)
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  (916): View more from California

  I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.

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  (916): I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745. http://tfl.nu/vvre
  Replies (4) Good night (1292) Bad night (825)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  what about money

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  no - he has a code he lives by

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  (610): they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n (484): what about money (610): no - he has a code he lives by http://tfl.nu/tp7q
  Replies (11) Good night (2463) Bad night (591)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."

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  (412): I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from." http://tfl.nu/4vvg
  Replies (6) Good night (1722) Bad night (487)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays

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  (314): Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays http://tfl.nu/dq5p
  Replies (3) Good night (516) Bad night (329)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like

  (972): View more from Texas

  Why do you text me weird shit like this?

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  (214): True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like (972): Why do you text me weird shit like this? http://tfl.nu/hcc5
  Replies (5) Good night (1081) Bad night (369)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.

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  (623): Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God. http://tfl.nu/6yhq
  Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (299)
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  (+54): View more from

  hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it

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  (+54): hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it http://tfl.nu/8niw
  Replies (2) Good night (354) Bad night (347)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?

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  (702): But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him? http://tfl.nu/njmy
  Replies (3) Good night (562) Bad night (295)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed

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  (508): all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed http://tfl.nu/18hn
  Replies (4) Good night (578) Bad night (252)

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