I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
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Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
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I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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