I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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