Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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