He told me they were just razor bumps!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
