apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
