playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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