I heard we made out
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize