I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
