she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my shit smells like andre
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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