you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
