it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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