I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
