found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
