I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
