Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
