We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize