My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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