I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
