your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
They have beer where we have blood.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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