I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
