Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize