Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
