Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
50% drunk capacity currently
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Randomize
