Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Even my vagina gasped.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
