Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm too high and old for this...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
