your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
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