i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
