Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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