so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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