All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
