sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Acid is not a monday night drug
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We left the knife in your bed.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
