Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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