He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
