I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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