don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Congratulations! We have a period
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