I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
