"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
