in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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