I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wish you could order shots online.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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