What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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