70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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