Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm at about main and main street
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
