I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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