babies were throwing up all over the place
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
