we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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