Where are you?
In a non slutty way
they need to just BURY HIM!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
