remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
