you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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