I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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