I'm going to jail i love you
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
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I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
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i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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