I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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