apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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