You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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