just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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