Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
