If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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