You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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