ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
