so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
