it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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