508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
