And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
