I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
