So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
