my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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