do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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