therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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