So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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